Facade

It is very difficult to feign a smile
when it is hurting inside.
This is what I have been doing,
since that star filled night.

I stayed locked up in my room
reminiscing about the moment
we had spent together.
Maybe loving each other,
without knowing or accepting it.

Her words kept ringing in my mind –
‘he had tried and waited for so long’ - yes true.
He did and he spoke overtly about it.
I kept mum, hiding the feeling within
for even longer; in the cauldron - my heart.
I just spoke the odd word about love.

Men don’t cry, I have heard people say.
I did not.
It is on paper I vent my innermost feelings.
This is where I find solace.

Someone knocks the door.
I fold the paper, and place it in
one of the books on the shelf.

I open the door.
I give the same warm smile.